I have been going back and forth on how to write this blog post. I have rewritten it 4 or 5 different ways to approach part two of transparency.
So here is my best shot at it:
For part two of transparency I am just going to talk about how long distance relationships _________. Well, I don’t really have a title.
I know what your thinking. “Jill, there are a million blogs that talk about long distance relationships. They all say it is difficult, but easy. You just have make time for each other and blah blah blah.” All of these blogs, pretty much have a “by the book” long distance relationship. One person is “home/ where they met,” while the other person is in the military, or has a new job. Most times the female is the one who is home figuring out ways to make life normal again. If you haven’t noticed my relationship doesn’t fit into that picture at all. We both are out trying to make the best future for our lives. Some of these rules mentioned in the blogs are: Have regular phone calls, “date” each other with date nights. Most importantly, choose times you will be able to see each other.
Well surprise, surprise, Gabe and I don’t get any of those luxuries (at least for the next 7/8 weeks). Gabe has 42 weeks of training after his 10 weeks of basic training. That’s a whole year give or take. That’s a long time regardless of who you are. We don’t get to say, “On this date we will meet here and on this date I will come to you.” Now, I am in China, and I do have more freedom than someone in the military. But a terrible PLOT TWIST, I have a full-time teaching job and I cannot at any moment just pick up and leave. One thing that has been weighing heavy on my heart is I can not make his Graduation from Basic training or when he has leave for Christmas. But these are realities we knew were a possibility before I left. 
A week after Gabe left for basic training I got a nice surprise. As I was rushing out the house, I got a notification from Gabe. I thought it would be at least 9 weeks, until I heard his voice again. I really thought, it had been a mistake or a false notification. As I walked onto the elevator for 19 seconds, time froze. He quickly said everything he could say before he had to leave. I’m not sure how he did it, but for 19 seconds everything stood still. For 19 seconds it didn’t matter that I couldn’t sleep for the first week we couldn’t talk. It didn’t matter that I was running late for work, it didn’t matter that all I had been wanting for a week was a good morning message from him. That message was a small amount of relief that made a world of a difference. Of course, 5 seconds later my motorbike started making a streaking high alarm sound and refused to turn off. China has a way of ruining happy moments.
As I’ve said before, long distance relationships are terrible, probably the hardest thing to ask two people to do. Adding the influence of the military and someone who is trying to explore the world it is absolute madness. But in those short moments, things seem to be okay. The first two weeks were extremely tough. I couldn’t quite get any motivation to do anything. Although we have been apart for roughly 2 and ½ months our new normal was difficult. The person who has become one of my main support systems is being challenged in ways I couldn’t imagine. I knew I had to figure out my own ways of cooping, that would make this extreme long distance, not as difficult. Several ways I’ve been cooping is keeping my self busy by going to the gym everyday, cooking new recipes, and drinking tea. I am now a sophisticate girlfriend because I drink tea. 
Some days I wonder will our lives ever line up. I’ve questioned my move to China on more than one occasion. I’ve questioned, do I really need to feed my desires to live abroad, or could I have made it work back in the States. The reality is even if I was back in the states, maybe I would have been able to see him graduate, and maybe I would see him at Christmas. Although that in its own is rewarding the other half of my heart would feel empty. Having a long-distance relationship isn’t all bad we are able to figure out our individual selves to become better people. If I am being 100% transparent, some days I enjoy being away. But other days its the worse thing in the world.
I will postpone Part 3 of being transparent. I am going to post about China in my next blog.
Until next time
Stay Awesome
Jill
mini series.
alone for forever, but I would have to sacrifice my love life and chase my dreams. And then I met Gabriel, (Gabe for short) I wont tell you the long boring story, but I will say he doesn’t make me have to choose. He understands that there is this burning passion inside of me and simply supports me. A year ago when we met, I knew I would be in China come May 2018 and he would be leaving for the military. Knowing that we both had passions and desires that potentially would keep us separate for a long time, we continued to pursue the relationship.
The first few days I needed a bicycle fixed, at first, he tried to over charge us, but we promised if he gave us a good price we would only come back to him. This friendship formed and we now stop by his bike shop every day. One day Chino invited me and Tarik (the German I lived with) to go see his bee hives. Not realizing we were going to collect honey, it was probably one of the single handed dangerous things I’ve watched here. Chino and his brother, with no protective gear other than long sleeves, started making a fire under the bees nest to make them sleepy. As the flames got higher and the bees got lower, all I could hear is Chino saying. “Don’t be afraid, but be careful.” After about 30 minutes of battling bees, we got the sweetest honey I have ever tasted. Chino recently got he be stolen, which greatly affects his business. Sometimes in life, you have to reward amazing people when life tries to get them down in life.
Vincent is my number one person here in Malawi. He makes sure we are safe, that we have a translation when needed and that no one tries to take advantage of us. He makes sure everything is in place when we are going to help local people in the village. Vincent has 2 young daughters, Patience age 6 and Theleza age 3. An example of the type of father Vincent is, one day I gave Vincent 6 Oreos from my care package I got. For my knowledge, he ate all the cookies and we went on about our day. Later in the day, we stopped by each of his daughter schools to pay school fees and he proceeded to give 3 cookies to each daughter. I thought this was extremely sweet due to not always having the ability to buy sweets for his daughters. Sometimes it is the small things in life that can make a child’s day better. Something Amazing has sponsored his daughters in order to go to school. Vincent is also our proud manager back in Malawi over one of our new employees.
She seemed to improve with the extra help that she got. Patience lived in subpar living conditions with the lack of food, a proper house and fully taking care of her mom. Patience and her mom slept on the floor of her brother’s house, not receiving a lot of food and unsure how long they could stay in the house. One of Something Amazing’s volunteers decided to help build Patience and her mom a house. Through trials and tribulations, she finally got a house. (I’ll post a blog about the house later.) One of my favorite memories of Patience was when I took Patience to get her new uniforms and asked if she wanted to pick up a little snack since we were hungry. Many children in Malawi do not get a chance to a be a kid since they are constantly taking care of their parents o the family. Patience is one of those kids, so when I asked her if she wanted a snack her eyes lit up as she grabs bags of chips to take to school. Patience and her mom are part of Something Amazing’s empowering the community program, we have and will continue to help with school supplies, school uniforms, and food.
In school, I met a bunch of wonderful kids who were eager to learn. A willingness that isn’t even comparable to most Danish student’s – and even my own by that age. This makes it even more unbearable when most of the teachers don’t show up for work. However, it pushed me into performing actual lessons for the kids. Since I’ve never taught in a school before, this was quite nerve wrecking. But I realized that anything is better than nothing – and we sure had fun! My background in social education work gives me another perspective on how kids learn, and the teacher of grade 5 was definitely surprised when I made the whole class jump around like kangaroos from Australia! But this is a balance. From what I’ve learned about volunteering in Africa, you must respect and understand the culture to be part of it. And in this position, you can share knowledge – and both parts get wiser.
My money was short, but I realized something after worth: maybe I could have both given the woman a house and employed people in the process of building it? The locals expected me to – “cause I’m the rich white person” – but I was too focused on just having a finished house for them to move into. Luckily I will keep on learning every day – and volunteering abroad teaches me a lot.
I have stood in front of 30 to 80 students doing an impromptu lesson because no one was there to teach. I have doubted my ability to teach anyone anything because only 3 kids understood the lesson I taught. I have taught a lesson that almost every single student understood. I have had the lights cut off several times due to the lack of money. I have gone to school and bed hungry because there wasn’t enough food in the house. I have had meet people who have become a second family to me. People who have opened their doors to their homes more times than people I’ve known for years. Through every tribulation, I faced there was an amazing attribute that made my day.
ExperienceSomethingAmazing 